Christina Marie Hill's Birth Story

We went to the hospital at 6:30 am Aug. 31 for the induction. Everything went very smoothly - we were brought back immediately, met the nurse, and got all set up. By about 7:00 am, the pitocin was started and things were going ok. My contractions picked up some, but it was the intensity that really picked up with the pitocin. I went in dilated to 4 cm, and progressed a little with the pitocin. I went ahead and opted to take the stadol to take the edge off the pain, and it helped. It's very strange because you are completely coherant, and you feel the pain, but it's not to the level that you feel it without the medication. It also allowed me to rest better in between contractions. Dr. Rockman came in at 8:30am and broke my water. OMG that was an interesting feeling. Not painful at all, just strange. The contractions came on with a vengance once my water was broken. It seemed like just as I was getting over one contraction another would start. I always wondered how I would know that I was in full blown active labor, but now I understand what people have been telling me. YOU KNOW! I decided to go ahead and get the epidural at that point because the pain was so intense. I take tylenol for a headache, so I would be damned if I would go through labor without some form of pain relief. The anesthesiologist came in with her tray of goodies and wouldn't you know that as she was putting in the epidural, I was getting contractions. It's pretty hard to sit perfectly still and push your back out when you are in the middle of one of those bad boys! She tried the first time and I don't know if I moved or what, but it didn't go where it was supposed to, so she had to try a second time. Thank goodness it worked and my labor was smooth sailing from there. I couldn't feel my legs at all. Someone could have been poking me with a needle and I wouldn't have felt again. I really feel like the epidural is a God send!

Unfortunately, things changed during the course of it all. Christina's heart rate was dropping significantly, which obviously is not good. After moving me into several positions, the decision was made to get her out for her own safety. I wanted to beg Dr. Rockman to give me a little longer to try to progress more, but it became very clear that a c-section was in her best interest. Things went very quickly once the decision was made. My dad was comforting me because I was so terrified. I couldn't stop crying because of all the things that were running through my mind. I keep thinking about the look on my dad's face as he immediately came to my side and took my hand. I will always be thankful that my dad was there at that point in time. I have never needed him like I did at that point.

Before I knew it, Sam was dressed in blue scrubs (sorry about the sideways picture) and the nurse was getting hers on. The anesthesiologist came back to my room and I kept asking if they were both going to be there. It's amazing how you build a relationship with your nurse when you are having a baby. They both kept telling me that they would be right there the whole time. I was wheeled to OR 1. I'll never forget laying back in that bed as I was being wheeled back. All I could see was the lights in the ceiling. I was pushed through double doors to the OR and wheeled into a big room with bright lights. By this point I was shaking all over uncontrollably. No matter how hard I concentrated, I could not get myself to stop so I just gave in to the shaking. I heard voices all around me and then a chipper "Hi Maria, it's Dr. Rockman". I felt so good knowing that he was there and I knew that my baby and I were in good hands. They asked Sam to leave while they got me prepared and I remember just praying harder than I have ever prayed. I prayed that if something went wrong, that my baby girl would be ok and I remember promising God that I would never ask for anything else again. I know, I know.......so wrong to bargan with God, but at the time it's all I could think of. Before too long, Sam was by my side again. It was the most amazing experience we have ever shared. It really seemed like time stood still and even though I could hear and smell everything going on, it seemed like he was the only one in the room with me. We stared at eachother the whole time and he kept telling me how much he loved me. He thanked me over and over and I remember just smiling and feeling so safe. I would start to look away and he would tell me to keep focusing on him. After what seemed like an eternity, Dr. Rockman told me I would feel some pressure, and boy he was not kidding! I remember saying "oh oh oh oh!" and then the most amazing sound I have ever heard - my daughter screaming and crying. Sam was beside himself! He kept kissing me and I could tell it took everything in him to sit still until they called him over. They told him to only look forward and not to look at me. I could hear him as he took his first look at his brand new baby girl. He kept saying "oh my God!" over and over again. He brought her over to me and she took my breath away. Never in my life have I seen such a beautiful baby. My husband introduced me to the baby I fell in love with back in February when I found out I was pregnant. Sam took the baby with the nurse to the nursery while they finished up the c-section. I remember the anesthsiologist telling me she was giving me something, come to find out it was a big ol dose of morphene and I was out like a light. I woke up a short time later in recovery with Sam next to me.

I have had my heart set on breast feeding since I found out I was pregnant, but I realized that with how fast everything went, I forgot to mention it ahead of time to the nurse. I told her what I wanted and she immediately went to get Christina. The first time I held her was amazing. I kissed her over and over and pulled her close. She immediately knew what to do and latched on like a pro and nursed for about an hour!

As it turns out, Christina was wrapped in her cord, which was preventing her from descending any farther. She was upside down like she was supposed to be, but she was face up instead of face down. The birth did not go as planned, and I'm still struggling with processing the c-section, but every day is better and better. My baby girl is here safe and sound, and I would go through it all over again to have the same outcome. I am blessed more than I deserve, and I am so happy that this very difficult pregnancy had such a happy ending!

Here are the proud Godparents, Juan and Lorena.

Tomorrow is The Day. I Promise! :)

Well, Sam and I went to see the doctor Friday morning like we were supposed to. That Monday, Dr. Rockman said to come back Friday so we could induce over the weekend. Unfortunately, the hospital we have chosen to deliver at was booked for inductions so the earliest we could get in is Monday (tomorrow) at 5:30 am. I feel so ridiculous that our dates have been all up in the air and changed as many times and it has, but I have to believe that there is a reason for it. I have come to accept the fact that I may quite possible be pregnant for the rest of my life. haha......

So, here we are - my last day of pregnancy and I have all kinds of mixed feelings about it. I am so ready to meet my precious baby girl and to begin our lives together, but I am not quite sure that I'm ready to share her with the world just yet. I love the time we have together when I feel her moving around inside of me. As difficult as this road has been, now that it is coming to an end I can't help but feel a little sad. I surely will not miss the actual physical part of being pregnant at all. I feel so blessed that we will have the baby we were always told we would never have, but the actual pregnancy has been very very difficult and I can't say that I will miss it.

My mom is coming over tonight because we have to be at the hospital at 5:30 am to begin the induction. The doctor will break my water, start pitocin and order my epidural. How in the world are we supposed to get any sleep tonight? Our lives are about to be forever changed! All I can say is bring it on. We are so ready for this. Updates to follow as soon as possible.

Tomorrow Is The Big Day!

Oh my goodness, my little one! I am so nervous and excited about tomorrow! I hope and pray that nothing changes between now and then and I will be able to see your beautiful face this weekend. Your daddy and I are so ready to have you in our arms. I'm praying for a smooth delivery for the both of us (especially you). I can't wait to see you! Mommy loves you more than you will ever know.

38 Weeks

Today is 38 weeks. I never ever thought we would make it this far, but here we are! We are still waiting on our baby girl to grace us with her presence, and it looks as if it will be sooner rather than later, although I'm trying very hard not to get my hopes up like before.

We went to the doctor Monday and I am now 3 cm dilated. Dr. Rockman talked to me again about induction. Apparently with all of the work we have put into keeping Baby Christina in, my uterus is now confused about what it is it's supposed to do. Imagine that. Not only is my uterus "irritable", but now it's confused. Who would have known? He told me to come back next Monday and we would induce Tuesday, then on my way out he told me to go ahead and come in Friday and we will induce either Friday/Saturday! I really hope I'm not getting my hopes up, but it really looks like this could be it! I'm trying to just relax these last few days, but it's hard to do since I feel like I've been trapped at home as it is.

I can't believe I'll finally be meeting my precious baby girl so soon! I can't wait to see Sam as a daddy and my parents as grandparents. She is so special to all of us and I'm so ready to start my life with her. She'll most likely never understand what a miracle she really is for this family, but I'll never take her for granted.

Sam says that he wants another baby within a year. I say he's crazy and he needs to come back down to earth. People tell me I'll change my mind, since you know, people tend to think they know me better than I know myself, but I am perfectly content with my one and only. I'm so traumatized that I'm scared that if I get pregnant again, my Christina will suffer because of it and I'm willing to do that. How do you tell a little girl that you can't take her out to play because Mommy is on bedrest? It has been hard enough this pregnancy and I don't have any little ones to take care of, but I can't imagine doing that to my girl. All of this has been an incredible learing experience - one I will never forget. I will NEVER tell another pregnant woman to "hang in there", "keep her head up", "it's all worth it". I will NEVER tell another pregnant woman that she'll change her mind about having other children in the future when she feels worse than she has ever felt. I now understand and appreciate the need of just wanting someone to just listen and not say anything or offer and advise. I understand and appreciate the need for validation and to have someone just say that they understand why I would feel that way. It takes a special person to do that, and I'm so thankful that I have a few of those people in my life. Christy's "we'll talk about that later" approach is priceless when it comes to talking about having more children. The look in my mother's eyes when she listens to me going on and on. She never has to say anything at all - she just holds me and that makes everything all better. My sister's excitement about being an aunt to this beautiful baby girl. My husband's unending love and support. Juan and Lorena's excitement about being godparents to our daughter. I am so blessed to have all of these people in my life. I have an amazing support system and I am so thankful for them.

I can't wait to post a birth announcement and pictures! Hopefully very very soon.

36 Weeks and Counting!

We are now at 36 weeks 3 days and I am a ticking time bomb. I saw the doctor this past Tuesday and he said that I am 1.5 cm dialated and 80% effaced. My last injection was last Monday and he said that I would give birth in about ten days. So close! He said that if I'm still pregnant through this week, he would start inducing Thursday/Friday. He also said that if I do go into labor before then, that he would do nothing to stop it. Well wouldn't you know that I went to labor and delivery Thursday evening thinking we were going to meet our princess and the doctor stopped my labor! WTF? He said that as long as there is a chance of keeping her in until 37 weeks, he would do it. I am completely on board with that and I appreciate what he is doing, but I just wish he had not told me he would not stop labor and then go and stop it. I'm on strict bedrest now and I'm just waiting to see what happens. My next doctor's appointment is Monday morning and I'm hoping that the contractions I've had this weekend will have caused some changes. We shall see.

Other than that, not much else to report. I have reached the end of my rope and I feel like my body has run out of fuel. I know this is all worth it and blah blah blah, but I am so ready to be through all of this and I'm so ready to be holding my precious baby. I am so disappointed because tomorrow we were going to the baptism class and now that I'm stuck on bedrest we have to wait until the next class, which I believe is sometime in September. I really wanted her to be baptised immediately. It's ok though - it will all work out.

I'm so thankful for my friends and family who have been so patient with me. I've been such a grump lately and I am so grateful to those of you who just listen to my rants and raves. I have not necessarily taken all of this as gracefully as I would have liked, but hey, it's much harder than I expected. Going through this has given me a whole new appreciation for my own mother, and for mothers who choose to go through pregnancy more than once!

Hopefully I'll be able to post a birth announcement in the next week or so!

It Has Been FOREVER!

I've been meaning to update for a while, but I never seem to get around to much these days. Tomorrow will be 35 weeks and we are quickly closing in on the time when we will hold our precious baby girl! It's funny to me how some days it feels like this pregnancy has lasted forever, but other days, like today, I can't believe how fast this has gone!

Sam and took a childbirth class Saturday and I left the class questioning EVERYTHING. I had no idea how I would make it through, or even if I would be able to. It's strange because it's obvious where babies come from and how they get here, but when you realize that you will be the one going through all of this, it's a real eye-opening realization. Something you just don't understand unless you have been there. Sam was reassured after the class because he felt that now he pretty much knew what to expect. I on the other hand needed a few days to process all of that information. Thank God for my friend Christy. I really don't know how I would have been able to compartmentalize all of that without her. She somehow knows what to say to calm me down and reassure me about all of this. I'm so incredibly blessed to have someone who convinces me that I can do this, even when I really don't believe I can.

Sam and I officially asked Christina's Godparents to be her Godparents about two weeks ago. Juan and Lorena are an awesome couple, and I can't wait for them to meet their Goddaughter in a few weeks! I always knew they would be her Godparents, but it really solidified our decision at my babyshower. Everyone was introducing themselves and when we got to Lorena she said she knew me for however long and then my cousin Vanessa said, "it must be a long time because I know you". They are so involved in our family that my extended family even knows them. My sister also made a comment that she feels like they ARE family. It only makes sense. They are more than just friends now. They are family.

As the time gets closer and closer, I'm getting more and more anxious. I'm working on packing my hospital bag and getting last minute things tied up. I need to buy just a few more things for Baby Christina, but other than that, we are completely ready. It's scary that our lives are changing forever very soon, but it's a change we are ready for. We have waited so long for this moment to arrive. I can't believe that our little miracle is almost here! I can't wait to hold her and feel her skin on mine. I can't wait to hear her little cry. She will never have any idea how loved and wanted she is.

Christina's Nursery

My parents came over today with Bean's crib, bassinet, and bedding. I got to watch while Daddy and the proud grandparents put everything together and oh my goodness! Her nursery is still a work in progress, but it's so nice to have her crib and other things in there. The crib and bassinet are the same ones my sister and I used as babies, so it's special that now my baby girl will get to use it. I still need to buy a rocker or glider, but I haven't really decided which one I want yet. Anyway, here are the pictures of what we have so far.