Saturday, June 6, 2009

Christina's Nursery





















My parents came over today with Bean's crib, bassinet, and bedding. I got to watch while Daddy and the proud grandparents put everything together and oh my goodness! Her nursery is still a work in progress, but it's so nice to have her crib and other things in there. The crib and bassinet are the same ones my sister and I used as babies, so it's special that now my baby girl will get to use it. I still need to buy a rocker or glider, but I haven't really decided which one I want yet. Anyway, here are the pictures of what we have so far.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

To My Baby Girl

My sweet and precious baby......I'm sitting here tonight unable to sleep because my thoughts are consumed by you. I'm thinking about you and worrying about you and loving you more than I have ever thought, worried about or loved anyone before. My heart aches when I think about what could have happened, but I am reassured by how well things have gone in the past few days. I am trying to stay strong and confident that everything will work out just fine for us. You are everything in the world to me and I will do whatever it takes to bring you safely into this world. You have no idea how much you are wanted and loved. I would venture to say that you are by far the most wanted little girl. Your Daddy and I have tried and waited so long for you, and here you are, our little miracle baby. Everything about you is a miracle and this experience will be no exception. You have so many people praying for you and sending you all kinds of positive thoughts. I can't wait to look into your beautiful eyes and hold you in my arms. I dream of the day when I can tell you myself how much I love you. We need to wait a little longer though because now is not the time. Hang in there, my little princess. We'll get through this.

UPDATE

Well, things spiraled wildly this week. Monday night after I had my injection, things got much, much worse. I was thinking that this was normal and due to the injection I had received earlier in the day, but I have been told that it was not a normal reaction - it was in fact early stages of labor. My contractions were to the point where I was in the shower rocking back and forth tryint to ease the pain. They were like the worst mentrual cramps ever. I got out of the shower when the water started going cold and Sam put me to bed. The cramps never stopped, but I was really thinking that it was a side effect of the injection since I was told it would get worse before it got better. The doctor gave me a sleeping pill to help me sleep, but I had no intention of taking it until Sam insisted and I gave in. I did manage to get sleep that night but then the next day I had a constant ache in my lower back. Again, I was thinking it was either just a side effect from the injection or just achiness from being in bed so much. I finally put a call in to the doctor Tuesday afternoon when the achiness did not subside and they told me to get to labor and deliver. Luckily Sam was just getting home at that point so he took me in to the hospital.

We went to the hospital I am going to deliver in, but needless to say, this was not the hospital tour I had in mind. They hooked me up to the monitor and gave me magnesium sulfate to stop the contractions. I had an ultrasound done and Christina was head down by my cervix. At this point, my cervix has started to thin out some. Apparently, they want your cervix to be between 3 and 4 CM long, and Tuesday night, mine was at a 2.6 cm. I was also starting to dialate. I really started freaking out when they gave me injections of steroiods (very painful) in case Christina was delivered Tuesday night in order to strenghthen her lungs. She is only 26 weeks at this point and her little lungs would not be fully developed at this point. They also gave me an antibiotic in case I have Strep B, which is something some women may carry. They didn't have time to test me for that, but they gave me the antibiotic for it just in case. By some miracle, Christina managed to stay inside. Wednesday, the doctor was in to see me at 6:00 am and told the nurses to begin weening me off the mag. sulfate and then monitor me to see how I do without the medication. This took all day and by this point I was soooo ready to head home. I was weened off and then monitored and no contractions! I was released last night. I really believe that once you are medically stabalized, the best medicine is being in your own home and in your own bed. I have never slept as well as I did last night.

Dr. Rockman had me set up with a home health company in order to monitor my contractions. Two nurses came to our house this afternoon and showed Sam and I how to work the machine. I describe it as OnStar for my uterus. Once a day, I strap myself to it for an hour and it measures to see if I'm having contractions. It sends a report to the call center, where the info. is analyzed and I get a call back with the results. If I begin to feel contractions during the day, I strap myself to it and call the call center to let them know I'm sending in a report. It is so incredibly reassuring to know that I have access to this 24/7. As it turns out, Sam will be the one to give me the weekly injections of the 17 alphahydroxyprogesterone (17 P), which is what will hopefully prevent me from going into labor again. I'll be taking the injection weekly until 36 weeks, or until she is born. Since I've had my shot for this week, the nurse will come back Monday evening to show Sam how to do the shot from here on out. I've read studies on the 17 P, and of course you can find pros and cons for everything, but from what I've read, and from what Dr. Rockman says, this injection has proven to help women who experience pre-term labor continue on to carry the baby to term. Dr. Rockman says that at this point we are going for two weeks at a time, since in fetal development, each week is a huge milestone, but we are doing our best to get to at LEAST 36 weeks.

I'm on bedrest until I see the doctor Monday morning and it's driving me crazy! I feel for ladies who are on bedrest for months and months at a time. I'm hoping that he will let me return to work even if it's on a modified schedule or something because I really need the interaction. Sam will be going in to work in the morning and I know it will get lonely. In the end, of course I will do whatever it takes to make sure my precious Bean is healthy, even if that means I am on bedrest for the rest of the pregnancy. Her health is the most important to me and I'll do whatever it takes.

You know, obviously I have loved her with my whole heart, and I have since the day I found out I was pregnant, but this experience has increased my love for her exponentionally. I can't imagine my life without my little girl and it's really bothering me that my body is not cooperating. Everything indicates that she is completely healthy and doing great, and here my body is trying to push her out! It's the most frustrating experience because it's my body, but have ZERO control over it. I have faith that everything will be fine though, and that Christina will be just fine. The medication seems to be working and I'm just trying to take things one day at a time. Please continue with the prayers and positive thoughts because they work!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Stressful Day

Well, I've been having all kinds of things going on for the past few days and this morning I was feeling much worse. I was only at work for about an hour and it got to the point where it seriously hurt to walk. I've been having that issue for a few days now, but this morning it got really bad so I left work and went in to see the doctor. He checked me out and had an ultrasound tech. paged from the hospital to check to see what was going on. Bean is just fine at this point.....she was mule kicking me away while we were doing the ultrasound and it was so funny to see. The doctor came back to talk to me and told me that my cervix is thinning and I'm experiencing pre-term labor. He gave me a shot to help stop it, but apparently, the shot makes the pains worse before it makes them better. Lovely. Let me just say it's not the most comfortable experience, but whatever it takes to keep my baby girl in there longer is worth it. I'm to stay home for the next two days and do NOTHING. I go back Wednesday for another check and I'll be doing the shots weekly to keep the labor away as much as possible. Needless to say I'm terrified, but I'm trying my best to stay calm because stressing is not good for me, and most importantly, it's not good for Bean. My doctor was very confident that since we caught this early, I'll be able to carry her to term as long as I continue the shots. Oh Bean......mommy loves you so very much. I'll do everything in my power to keep you safe and sound in there until it's time.