38 Weeks

Today is 38 weeks. I never ever thought we would make it this far, but here we are! We are still waiting on our baby girl to grace us with her presence, and it looks as if it will be sooner rather than later, although I'm trying very hard not to get my hopes up like before.

We went to the doctor Monday and I am now 3 cm dilated. Dr. Rockman talked to me again about induction. Apparently with all of the work we have put into keeping Baby Christina in, my uterus is now confused about what it is it's supposed to do. Imagine that. Not only is my uterus "irritable", but now it's confused. Who would have known? He told me to come back next Monday and we would induce Tuesday, then on my way out he told me to go ahead and come in Friday and we will induce either Friday/Saturday! I really hope I'm not getting my hopes up, but it really looks like this could be it! I'm trying to just relax these last few days, but it's hard to do since I feel like I've been trapped at home as it is.

I can't believe I'll finally be meeting my precious baby girl so soon! I can't wait to see Sam as a daddy and my parents as grandparents. She is so special to all of us and I'm so ready to start my life with her. She'll most likely never understand what a miracle she really is for this family, but I'll never take her for granted.

Sam says that he wants another baby within a year. I say he's crazy and he needs to come back down to earth. People tell me I'll change my mind, since you know, people tend to think they know me better than I know myself, but I am perfectly content with my one and only. I'm so traumatized that I'm scared that if I get pregnant again, my Christina will suffer because of it and I'm willing to do that. How do you tell a little girl that you can't take her out to play because Mommy is on bedrest? It has been hard enough this pregnancy and I don't have any little ones to take care of, but I can't imagine doing that to my girl. All of this has been an incredible learing experience - one I will never forget. I will NEVER tell another pregnant woman to "hang in there", "keep her head up", "it's all worth it". I will NEVER tell another pregnant woman that she'll change her mind about having other children in the future when she feels worse than she has ever felt. I now understand and appreciate the need of just wanting someone to just listen and not say anything or offer and advise. I understand and appreciate the need for validation and to have someone just say that they understand why I would feel that way. It takes a special person to do that, and I'm so thankful that I have a few of those people in my life. Christy's "we'll talk about that later" approach is priceless when it comes to talking about having more children. The look in my mother's eyes when she listens to me going on and on. She never has to say anything at all - she just holds me and that makes everything all better. My sister's excitement about being an aunt to this beautiful baby girl. My husband's unending love and support. Juan and Lorena's excitement about being godparents to our daughter. I am so blessed to have all of these people in my life. I have an amazing support system and I am so thankful for them.

I can't wait to post a birth announcement and pictures! Hopefully very very soon.