I'm So Anxious!

I can't seem to stop worrying and it's driving me crazy! My next doctor's appointment is scheduled for this Friday, and all I can think about is my baby being ok. I haven't experienced anything that would make me feel otherwise, but I have this anxiety about what the doctor is going to say. I'm a member of the babycenter message board, and for the most part I love it, but every once in a while a post shows up where someone is having to leave the group because they have received bad news about their pregnancies. I keep telling myself that I need to stay positive, but it's really hard for someone as controlling as I tend to be to just let the most important part of my life be left up to fate. There is this part of me that is so positive and sure about everything. That part of me keeps trying to scream louder than the part of me who is so terrified. UGH!!!

Sam had this idea in his head that we were going to wait until March 21 to buy anything for the baby. For whatever reason, he felt safe with that date. Now all of a sudden he's wanting to buy little things for the baby today and I'm so happy about that! I just feel like I need something tangible to connect me to the baby. All of this still seems so abstract to me. Anyway, hopefully I'll be able to find some way to relax and not worry so much. I find that hard to believe, but I can always hope, right?

12 Weeks Today!!!!

Today officially marks 12 weeks and I'm thrilled! I feel like this is some kind of a milestone for us and I feel so happy right now. My next doctor's appointment is scheduled next Friday morning and I'm so anxious to hear my baby's heartbeat. It truely is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard and I'm so ready to hear it again! According to babycenter.com, my baby is the size of a lime now. Funny thing is that every time I think of my baby, I think of a lime first. How crazy is that? I have not had too much of a problem with "morning" sickness, but I've been nauseous off and on. I got horribly sick yesterday morning and that lasted all day. Needless to say, I was misearable. It made it so much worse that I've been having to sit through a BORING certification training all week and I felt trapped. Sick and trapped. It was aweful. This morning I was sick again, but I managed to work through it and I felt fine once I got going. Hopefully it goes away completely very soon.

By the way, I have to acknowledge the fact that I have the most amazing husband anyone could ask for. He has done an awesome job at taking over all of the cooking and cleaning, not to mention babysitting me. I can't believe it how lucky I am! I told him the other day that there is no other person I would ever want to have a baby with. He's going to be an amazing father and I can't wait to experience this with him!

Why Can't I Sleep?

So, for the past three days I have been waking up at 3:00 am having to visit the ladies room and eat! Seems crazy that my driving forces in life revolve around the bathroom and the kitchen these days. I've been very good about eating pretty well for the most part, although yesterday I gave into my sweet tooth and indulged in a piece a cheese cake, a rootbeer float, and a caramel apple. I vow NEVER to do that again, pregnant or not pregnant! My goal for the next seven months is to eat as healthy as humanly possible. I totally get that a) I'm NOT eating for two adults, and b) what I put into my body matters more now than ever before.

So far my body has been wanting all fruit the entire time. I find it difficult to eat chicken at all, and I'm not eating nearly as much beef as I usually do. Guess I just don't want it right now. My meals consist mostly of oatmeal and tons and tons of fruit. I'm assuming that's a good thing, but I'll have to ask the doctor just in case I need to modify my diet. I'm finding that snacking several times through out the day does help with nausia, which has been great, but nothing stops the sickness in the evening time. I'm pretty much out of commission from about 6:30 on, which I think contributes to the fact that I'm up at 3 am. awwww.........the joys of pregnancy. It's all so very worth it in the end though!

We Are Going To Be Parents!

That's right! We found out last Thursday that we are going to be parents in September! 09-09-09 to be exact (we'll see what the baby decides though). I have been feeling "partly cloudy" for a while and I finally decided to take a home pregnancy test on Super Bowl Sunday. The sucker was positive before I even put the cap back on! I took another the same evening and got the same results. I took another Monday morning and it was still positive! At this point I'm thinking that there is a pretty good chance that I'm pregnant, so I made an appointment with an OB-GYN that I chose blindly from my list of docs. on my insurance company's website. They only do ultrasounds on Mondays and Thursdays so I had to wait three agonizing days until I could see him. In the meantime, I took a fourth test and woohoo! Still positive! Things are looking pretty good by this point.

Sam and I arrive at the doctor bright and early last Thursday and they took us back for the ultrasound. As soon as the ultrasound tech put the want on my tummy our beautiful bean popped up on the screen. We must have startled him/her because his/her arms and legs were waving all around. We heard the heart beat and that was music to our ears! I've never shared a more amazing moment with my husband than that very moment. There was our little miracle baby right there on the monitor. Truely a dream come true.

Turns out I REALLY like Dr. Rockman. According to him, our baby is healthy and right on track for a pregnancy at that stage. At that point I was 9 weeks 1 day. I am now 10 weeks 4 days and my next appointment isn't until March 6. I'm seriously considering renting one of those dopplers so I can hear the heart beat in between appointments. We'll see.

Stay tuned for updates, rantings, and pictures!